Fear of Women
Fear of Women
There is no one thing that keeps men from dating more often than fear of women. We’re not here to psycho-analyze men who are afraid of women–whether or not they get along with their mom or had a bad experience with an older sister is not our department–but we can talk a little about fear of women, what it does to a man’s brain, and how they can overcome it.
If you find yourself scared to approach women, scared to talk to women, scared to even think about women–yep, you’ve got it. Fear of women is a common problem and it is not limited to shy or self-conscious men, either. Most men who don’t have a girlfriend or wife (and many who do) suffer from a fear of women.
But what about those studly guys hitting the bars every weekend bringing home dozens of hot girls? Trust me, most of these types are scared of women, too. Otherwise, they would have found one woman to spend time with regularly, rather than flopping around from bed to bed. No, your confidence level has little to do with your fear of women, neither does your sexual history.
What Causes Fear of Women?
Fear of women, like most fears, is caused by a lack of experience. That’s it. You don’t have some psychological disorder and there’s no expensive medication or therapy treatment required to fix you. All you suffer from is a lack of experience with women.
What about those men we talked about earlier who spend their lives with women, one after another, never landing on a girlfriend? Those men that we said suffer from fear of women as well–they have just as little experience as you in really talking to or relating to women. Their experience is tied up completely with their genitals. They have just as little actual experience with women as you do.
Conquering Your Fear of Women
Now that we know that a lack of experience causes fear of women, the easy answer is to spend more time with women. Unfortunately, people who have a true fear of women can’t just run out and start spending time with women. Heck, they can’t even look them in the eye.
To gain more experience with the fairer gender, a little at a time is the name of the game. The first step to conquering your fear is naming it–tell yourself “I have a fear of women.” Then shake that feeling off and set about to spend a little time every day really talking to a woman.
Finding Women to Talk To
Since you’ve been spending your life in mortal fear of women, you may have trouble finding women willing to connect with you on this level. That’s why there’s no shame in starting with the woman that gave you birth.
Yes, that’s right, I’m telling you to talk to your mom. If she’s not available, talk to a sister, a female cousin, or a very close female friend. Tell them exactly what you’re going through, and tell them you’d like to spend some time really talking to them to gain some experience.
You won’t conquer your whole fear of women talking to your sister about the Red Sox, but you have to start somewhere.
Blind Dates
At some point, you’ll have to give yourself a baptism by fire, set up a blind date, and spend some awkward time trying to relate to a woman you’ve never met before. If you feel the cold sweat breaking out right about now, you haven’t fully completed the first step.
Wait to set up your blind date until after you’ve spent some time just talking to a trustworthy female.
While you’re on your blind date, take not of any physical symptoms you feel–sweating, dizziness, even stuttering and problems concentrating are common symptoms of fear of women. Once you know the signs of your fear, and have spent some time out with women, you may be ready to get over your fear altogether.
The Test
So you’ve spent more time on the phone with your mother than you ever thought possible, been on a few blind dates, and now you think you’re “over” your fear of women. Here’s the test:
The next time you’re out in public (at a grocery store, coffee shop, shopping mall, or wherever) walk up to an attractive woman and start a short conversation. You might see a woman picking through the bananas the same time as you–ask her how she prepares them, or comment on the sorry state of this particular store’s produce. Anything to break the ice.
If you can have this conversation without throwing up on yourself–congratulations. You’re over your female fears.
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This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 18th, 2010 at 12:16 pm and is filed under Women. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.