Gay bars aren’t just full of gay people. I don’t know about you, but some of the best bars in my hometown are gay bars. The customers are friendlier, the mood is brighter, and people seem to be having a better time overall than at the single’s club down the street. This means that you’ll find all types of people at so called “gay bars” — straights, bisexuals, gays, transgendered people . . . you’re likely to find a much more diverse mix of people at a gay bar than at a straight one.
If you’re a woman looking to find nice guys, don’t give up on the gay bar scene. It is very common for straight guys to go with a group of women and gay friends to a gay bar. I’m a straight guy and I’d say I’m at a gay bar at least once a month, just hanging out with friends and having a good time. You can find straight guys at gay bars.
Before you start approaching every hot guy at the gay bar, you should prepare for all possible outcomes.
1. He’s gay and he’s pissed — If you walk up to a gay guy in a gay bar and lay a line down on him or start flirting heavily with him, it is possible that he’ll be angry. I’m not saying you’re gonna get punched or slapped or spit on or anything — but you could offend someone and cause a bad scene. You have to be prepared to avoid this possibility by altering the way you connect with guys. Start a conversation before you lay on the flirting. It shouldn’t take you long to figure out if a guy is gay after a few minutes of conversation.
2. He’s gay and he thinks you’re fabulous — Another possibility if you flirt with a gay guy at a gay bar is that he’ll totally have a friend crush on you and start giving you advice about your hair and your clothes. Yeah — it’s a stereotype, but I’m going for effect here. Flirting with a guy who turns out to be gay probably won’t be that big a deal. He’ll take it as a compliment or use it as an opportunity to get to know you. If this happens, you’ve dodged a bit of a bullet. If you spend some time talking to a guy before you flirt with him and it turns out he’s gay, feel free to flirt away. There’s nothing wrong with telling a guy that he’s hot.
3. He’s straight — Look, either the hot guy at the gay bar is gay or straight. You’ve basically got a 50% chance of sending the right signal. If you see a guy at the gay bar that you want to pickup, go over and talk and flirt with him. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Don’t go into a gay bar and try to use your superior “gay-dar” skills to identify which guys are straight and which are gay. There’s no one in the world who knows with any kind of accuracy who is gay and who is straight. Hell, there’s plenty of people who aren’t even sure what they are themselves. Instead of trying to “figure out” who in the bar is straight, just start up a conversation. If you’re lucky the straight guys at the gay bar will come to you.
Let them buy you a drink.
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This entry was posted on Monday, January 25th, 2010 at 6:36 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
A true gay bar is a horrible place for a woman to try to pick up a guy. Depending on the location, a straight woman’s presence may be looked on as being intrusive or even as a “spy” – many attendees are not truly out of the closet and a straight woman’s presence can be viewed as threatening. On the other side of the coin, are you a woman who does not mind sharing your washroom with random males who, in seedier places, may actually use the ladies room as a quieter place for quick sex? If it is a mixed male/female gay bar (gay/lesbian), be prepared to be hit on by woman, touched by woman, or generally mistaken for a lesbian – even by a drunk hot bull dyke who could carry you away under one arm.
Stick to the straight or ‘gay friendly’ dance establishments if you are a woman on the hunt for a man. A gay bar is one of the few places where gay people can feel free to express themselves honestly and all that pent up energy held back by being forced to “act straight” needs to be released. A straight girl should hit a straight bar – her chances of getting lucky are much better. While many gay people don’t care, some feel that their gay bar is diminished by influx of straight people. Forget about bringing straight males to a male dominated gay pickup bar, it is a recipe for disaster if they are not extremely open minded (slightly gay).