How to Approach Women
How to Approach Women in Public or Online,
Approaching women is a mental game, and it doesn’t matter whether you want to know how to approach women at the gym or how to approach women in bars, the same rules apply. Think of approaching women like a hunter approaches game. The process of approaching a woman is like a hunt — there’s tracking, patience, aiming, more patience, and finally the trigger pull.
Learn to convey five different messages all at once. What happens after the approach is up to you, but learn to broadcast these five things at the same time, and you’ll have the confidence and the ability to walk up to the hottest girl at the bar any time of day or night.
“I am not desperate.”
The stench of desperation is the quickest way to turn a woman off. It doesn’t work well on guys, either. No one likes a desperate lover, because no one wants to feel like they’re “any old port in a storm.” If you appear desperate, you will never be able to approach a woman.
To broadcast the message that you are anything but desperate, you have to learn to be patient at all times. Patience is a virtue, as they say, and it can be a difficult one to learn. That’s why practicing your patience is a must.
You can practice patience at pretty much any juncture of your life. You know that annoying co-worker you want to beat up? Try going out of your way to make friends. That requires a great deal of patience. Or the next time you’re stuck in traffic, force yourself to think of the wait as a blessing. There’s a huge dose of patience right there.
Patience will convince women that you are the least desperate guy in the room.
“I am spontaneous.”
Broadcasting your spontaneity is a bit harder than broadcasting patience, especially considering the two are almost opposites. Patient people don’t tend toward spotaneity, and oddly enough, women seem to think both are extremely attractive.
So how do you appear spontaneous and patient at the same time? One trick I’ve learned is to under-dress a little when you go out to meet women. Being overdressed makes you look like you’re “on the prowl”, and being too well dressed will make you look desperate. You may wear a tie, but ditch the sportcoat, and consider untucking your dress shirt, wearing jeans, or a pair of fancy sneakers. Sounds cheesy but it works.
Another way to appear spontaneous is to make your “intro” line something spontaneous sounding. Telling a girl that you weren’t out to meet anyone tonight but you had to learn her name is the beginner’s version of spontaneous game, but practice along those lines and you’ll find the perfect spontaneous line.
“I am sincere.”
Most of us guys approach a woman because we want to have sex with her. They know it, we know it, and they know that we know it. Basically, approaching a woman is akin to telling her you want to get between the sheets with her. So how can you seem sincere if she knows all you want is her body?
You could start by not sleeping with every girl you meet. Here’s where patience becomes important again. Take your time to smile at a girl across the room, wait a while, then approach her and be friendly. There’s no need to drop pressure on her right off the bat — let her think of you as a friend for a second before you put the heavy game on.
Sincerity is all about facial expression and body language. You can appear sincere simply by looking a girl in the eye rather than at her body. Practice your body language and facial expressions in a mirror to check your sincerity before you hit the club.
“I am a winner.”
This is the easiest part of approaching a woman. Broadcasting this message is as easy as taking care of yourself. Guys who are winners are guys with jobs, guys who own their own cars, guys that are independent and don’t live with their mamas. If you are a hard worker, it doesn’t matter that you drive an old Toyota, as long as your sense of self is strong enough to pull it off.
Basically, being a winner doesn’t have to mean making it rain $100 bills in the club — women can see confidence, and they often interpret it by saying “This guy’s a winner.” If you can convince a woman that you’re a winner before you even talk to her, she’ll have a key to your apartment in just a few weeks.
“I am in charge.”
This is where approaching a woman gets tough. You want her to know that you’re in charge — women really do want a man to tell them what to do in the bedroom, though maybe not as much in their everyday life — but you don’t want to step on her toes. If you like flirting with smart women like I do, you know the dangers of coming of as too much of a tough guy. The balancing act here is to be in charge of the conversation without seeming like you’re in charge.
Doing this right takes practice. You aren’t going to walk in off the street an immediately be in charge of every possible conversation you have with every woman.
If you can broadcast all of these messages at once, you’ll be able to pull the phone number of any woman you want. What you do with that number, and what you do with the woman is up to you.
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This entry was posted on Saturday, August 21st, 2010 at 11:08 am and is filed under Attraction, Dating, How To, Women. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.