Have Recent Pictures

Even if you have pictures on your profile, women want to see more. Before you ask a girl out online, make sure that you have at least five pictures from the last month at hand. More than likely, after you do ask her out she’s going to ask for recent pictures just to verify that you are who you say you are. Do yourself a favor and have them ready for her before hand.

Here are some examples to follow:

1. A picture with a friend.
2. A picture with a group of friends.
3. A picture with another girl.
4. A picture with a pet
5. A picture at a famous monument.

Ease Her Into It

Even if you seem like the perfect guy, women are going to be a little hesitant to meeting somebody from the Internet. Make sure that you have talked to her online for at least a week or so before you ask her out. If you seem too eager, she will find it desperate or creepy. Neither of these is great for trying to get a girl to go out with you.

To avoid sounding like a serial killer or a criminal, tell them a lot about you. This is much different than asking a girl out in person. The problem with the Internet is that you want women to see you as a three dimensional person. You want them to feel like they know you inside and out. Tell them about where you grew up, where you went to school, and what you don’t like about your job. This is a great start.

Ask them easy questions to start out and then joke with them a little bit. When the time is right, tell them something sincere. “I think that you’re really cool. We should get together for a drink sometime” usually works really well. If she says no, don’t be afraid to try her again later. Persistence is great for asking a girl out online.

Have A Specific Date In Mind

Meeting for coffee or a drink is a great start for people are who trying to get a date. When online dating, meeting for a drink or coffee is a big flop. You want to have a specific date in mind when you ask a girl out online. Putting a personal touch to your date is going to add to the three dimensional persona that you are striving for. Use all of the information that have gained from talking to them over the last week to come up with a great date that you will both enjoy.

Summary

In many ways, online dating is very different from traditional dating. Because of the impersonal approach, many men find it very hard to succeed with the kind of women they want. Use these rules and guides to help you through the transition of impersonality to success.

For more information about how to ask a girl out online, read:

• How to Write an Online Dating Profile
• How to Create a Catchy Headline for Your Online Dating Profile

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A lack of confidence will get in the way of every aspect of your life. You’ll have trouble finding work, keeping work, getting raises, and getting respect from co-workers. You will have great difficulty flirting and talking to members of the opposite sex, and you’ll have even more trouble keeping them around. People who lack confidence often have mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Lacking confidence is bad new all around.

Luckily, learning to be confident is really a matter of convincing yourself that you’re confident. Like most things in life, confidence is a commodity that can be faked until it is achieved.

Affirmations

That little monologue that runs in your head all day? That’s you talking to yourself. Without getting deep into the psychiatric mumbo-jumbo, the things you say to yourself determine your state of mind. Your state of mind then determines the way you behave, how you respond to stressors, etc. Without being glib it is safe to say that your internal monologue has more control over you than any other force in the world.

If you want to gain confidence, start practicing some confident daily affirmations. Come up with a sentence that is easy to remember and repeat and say it several times a day. Wake up and tell yourself “I will act with confidence today”, then say it to yourself in the mirror, in the shower, in your head on your commute, etc. You’ll be amazed what a little bit of positive thought can do for you. The key to making these affirmations work is to say them regularly and repeat them the same way every time.

Think of it like tricking your brain to work for you.

Act As If

On my first sales job I was told that same aphorism that many salesman hear — that I should “act as if”. Act as if I just earned a huge commission, act as is I was the hottest guy in the room, act as if I could sell porn to a preacher. The idea is that eventually you’ll “act as if” so much that you’ll actually become what you want.

This is a different kind of affirmation really — one that takes place in the body rather than in the mind. If you go about your day acting like a person with confidence, you’ll find those confident behaviors and attitudes start to work for you in a way you never imagined they could.

Last-ditch

If you don’t find either of these tactics working for you, there are some desperate moves you can make at the last minute to force confidence.

Try surrounding yourself with people who are either way less confident and attractive than you are or people who are way out of your league. The former works because you’ll look confident by associating with lame people  . . . this is a cruel and very junior high dance kind of tactic, but it may work short term. The second part works because people who reek of confidence can’t help but share some of their mojo with you when you hang out with them.

Having confidence is the difference between landing the job you always wanted and continuing to slave away selling sunglasses at the mall. The good news is you don’t have to become a confident person over time — you can amp up your confidence in a matter of days by using the above tactics.

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There’s nothing wrong with using a gimmick to pick up a girl. My motto is “Whatever gets ‘em in your bed”. When you think about it, using lines and working a “seduction technique” is a gimmick too — why not try something unique to catch her attention?

Palm reading, known as “palmistry” or “chiromancy”, probably got its start in ancient India and has been passed along to the west from Gypsy fortune-telling traditions. The basic premise of palm reading is to tell something about a person’s future or their general character by examining the natural lines that have formed on their palms.

You should perform this “palm reading” either way over the top serious (as if this person’s palm lines really did indicate their future) or just use the palm reading as a light distraction for the real flirting you’re doing . . . with your eyes and your hands. Playing it up really big is good for group situations, while treating the “palm reading” like the silly trick it really is would be good for one on one time.

The Basics

Always work with the woman’s “dominant hand” — this sounds somewhat scientific but also gives you access to her naturally more sensitive hand. Little touches along the palm lines, some gentle squeezing or flirting with fingers — all that’s a possibility during the palm reading.

Your next step is to pick out the four lines you’ll be working with. Throw something in about there being “other lines” but that you’re just doing a basic breakdown. The four major lines are Heart, Head, Life, and Fate. The “Heart” line is the topmost line that in some people is basically horizontal. The “Head” line runs underneath and basically parallel to the “Heart” line. The “Life” line usually branches out from the “Head” line and moves sharply downward. The “Fate” line doesn’t exist on every person, but if it does it is the line that runs across all three lines and is basically vertical.

After identifying these lines say that palm reading is a simple process of identifying different markers on each line. Then look at each of the four lines and make a forecast.

Reading Lines

The heart line represents emotions, stability, and heart health. Start from the “open end” of the line, meaning the part that doesn’t run all the way to the hand’s edge.

Where does the line begin? If it begins below the index finger, it means the person is content in love. If, on the other hand, the line starts under the middle finger, it means the person is looking for a new love. You can of course use this to your advantage and simply tell the girl whose palm you’re reading that her palm lines indicate that she’s looking for love. You know, if you think you need that extra boost.

You can continue making “predictions” using questions like “What shape is the heart line” and point out that the shape of her line indicates that she’s going to meet a handsome stranger soon, or something of that nature.

Other questions include the shapes of the various lines, the points where they intersect, or just about any physical feature of the palm print.

Why does this work? First of all any guy willing to use a palm reading to pick up a girl is ballsy, confident and has a unique sense of humor. Secondly, you get to have intimate contact with a woman as well as pretend you have some foreknowledge of her personality.

After you finish up your fake palm reading, make sure and turn the topic of conversation back over to you and her and your immediate future. You don’t want to get lost in palm reading stuff all night and lose the chance to take the girl home.

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If you weren’t born with a personality you’re just going to have to fake it.

No matter if you’re male or female, short or tall, hot or ugly — if you don’t have a unique personality you’re simply not going to be able to survive in the dating world.

The hottest girl with the biggest breasts (and no personality) may still get laid from time to time, but no guy will want to stay with her much past the sex. Likewise for a hot guy — a Gap model probably has no shortage of females around him, but once they find out he has no personality, they’ll move right along.

So you say you don’t have a good personality? Here’s how to fake one.

1. Be Natural

People with personality are capable of “being themselves” — being natural. Acting like yourself means not getting upset about the small stuff (being “petty)’ and taking things in stride. People who don’t “sweat the small stuff” look confident, natural, and above all sexy. If you act like tha happiest and most at-peace-with-himself person, you’ll look like a positive and outgoing version of yourself. No one can have a personality without letting that “personality” take over — so start faking a cool and “natural” way of being.

2. Act A Little Crazy

I’m not suggesting that you behave like a psychopath or do anything dangerous — but look around at the people you know who have great “personalities” — they all act a little bizarre, don’t they? People with strong natural personalities often give in to their kooky side. Be willing to feel scared, mad, unreasonable, artistic, or any irrational feeling that comes to mind. Act out in little ways — maybe you make a weird collage for your friend after you just had a minor fight, or maybe you write a song for someone you have the hots for. Remember that people with personality often act out of character like this. People with flaws are very naturally charming and easy to like. Luckily, this is easy to fake.

3. Be A Curious Person

People who don’t want to try new things are boring. A lack of originality and a lack of willingness and curiousity is uglier than anything else, personality-wise, so to fake your great personality you’ll need to be a very curious person. If you are inquisitive and it seems like you are thirtsy for knowledge, people will gravitate to you. Plus, if you show that you have an appetite for learning, you will show that you are a person of action — and that is sexy. Don’t go too far with your fake personality and become a know-it-all . . . remember that it isn’t how much you know but how much you are willing to learn.

4. Have No Fear

If you approach life as if you are fearless you will look adventurous and full of positive attitudes. Other people will look at you and wonder just who that sexy and fearless person is. When people are attracted to your spirit this way they want to spend more time with them. So be fearless — fake a fearless attitude if you have to. You will earn huge dividends this way.

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If you’re a woman looking to find nice guys, don’t give up on the gay bar scene. It is very common for straight guys to go with a group of women and gay friends to a gay bar. I’m a straight guy and I’d say I’m at a gay bar at least once a month, just hanging out with friends and having a good time. You can find straight guys at gay bars.

Before you start approaching every hot guy at the gay bar, you should prepare for all possible outcomes.

1. He’s gay and he’s pissed — If you walk up to a gay guy in a gay bar and lay a line down on him or start flirting heavily with him, it is possible that he’ll be angry. I’m not saying you’re gonna get punched or slapped or spit on or anything — but you could offend someone and cause a bad scene. You have to be prepared to avoid this possibility by altering the way you connect with guys. Start a conversation before you lay on the flirting. It shouldn’t take you long to figure out if a guy is gay after a few minutes of conversation.

2. He’s gay and he thinks you’re fabulous — Another possibility if you flirt with a gay guy at a gay bar is that he’ll totally have a friend crush on you and start giving you advice about your hair and your clothes. Yeah — it’s a stereotype, but I’m going for effect here. Flirting with a guy who turns out to be gay probably won’t be that big a deal. He’ll take it as a compliment or use it as an opportunity to get to know you. If this happens, you’ve dodged a bit of a bullet. If you spend some time talking to a guy before you flirt with him and it turns out he’s gay, feel free to flirt away. There’s nothing wrong with telling a guy that he’s hot.

3. He’s straight — Look, either the hot guy at the gay bar is gay or straight. You’ve basically got a 50% chance of sending the right signal. If you see a guy at the gay bar that you want to pickup, go over and talk and flirt with him. What’s the worst thing that could happen?

Don’t go into a gay bar and try to use your superior “gay-dar” skills to identify which guys are straight and which are gay. There’s no one in the world who knows with any kind of accuracy who is gay and who is straight. Hell, there’s plenty of people who aren’t even sure what they are themselves. Instead of trying to “figure out” who in the bar is straight, just start up a conversation. If you’re lucky the straight guys at the gay bar will come to you.

Let them buy you a drink.

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When it comes to physical appearance, everyone has something going for them, and chances are, you probably already know what that is. Maybe it’s the distinctive way that you dress; or the way your hairstyle complements the shape of your face; or perhaps you’ve got a particular scent that’s memorable and alluring. Whatever it is, you can bet that other people are noticing.

Of course, they probably also notice what isn’t working—the way you don’t clip your fingernails on a regular basis, or the fact that your dress shirts are chronically wrinkled. If we’re honest about our reasons for wanting to improve our physical appearance, most of us would admit that we harbor a deep-seated desire to impress others, and be thought of as attractive and successful, whether in in the realm of our dating or professional lives. Of course, improving our physical appearance also has practical implications. Sometimes the way we come across to others can make all the difference when it comes to attracting a mate or making headway in our careers.

And so, it turns out that manageing—yes, managing—our physical appearance can be similar to running a business, demanding our consistent attention to a large number of details. Like a business, if one of those details fall by the wayside, you’ll run the risk of letting the whole operation fall apart.

So, the first step to improving your looks is taking inventory. Ask yourself, “What’s working about my physical appreance and what’s not?” Better yet, ask other people. Family, friends, co-workers or even strangers can sometimes provide a much-needed objective standpoint on the good, bad, and ugly of your physical appearance. And if you’re lucky, they can point out blindspots that have been crippling your success for years. Here are the most essential points to keep in mind:

Skin Care and Acne — make sure to choose the right lotions, moisturizers and treatments for your particular type of skin. Consult your dermitologist.

Hair — invest in your hair. Don’t settle for cheap haircuts. Find a stylist who can cut your hair regularly and can openly communicate with you about your hair.

Body Odor — wash and shower often, use deodorant, and experiment with different calognes and perfumes.

Oral Hygiene – brush, floss, and visit your dentist regularly. Use mouthwash.

Clothing – don’t just follow the latest trends. Ask yourself what kind of image would you like to project to other people. What clothing makes you feel confident?

After you get a good amount of feedback, make a list of the areas that need the most improvement, and prioritize them. Tackle one at a time. Keep in mind that improving your looks takes time and experimentation. Also, take note that it’s most effective to work from the inside out. Taking care of your body internally—having a balanced diet and getting regular exercise—is perhaps the most important thing you can do to improve your looks, since a healthy body can directly affect the way you look and feel on the outside.

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When asked about where to meet men, most women will recite a list of bars and clubs in the area. But many of us know that the bar scene—though widely-accepted as the primary place to meet and socialize—isn’t exactly the ideal environment to have quality connections with men. Loud, superficial, and designed to get people drunk, most bars and clubs may help you hook up, but won’t help you create the lasting connections with the type of men that you’re looking for.

So, before even walking out the door, it’s important to ask yourself, “What kind of connections with men am I seeking?” If it’s one-night-stands you want, then by all means, head out to the bars and clubs. But if you’re looking for a relationship, perhaps even a life-partner, then it’s time to consider unconventional methods.

Out of the Ordinary

There are many unconventional places to meet quality men. Spend an evening enjoying wine and cheese at an art gallery reception. Browse the aisles of a bookstore for a couple of hours. Take tango lessons with a roomful of complete strangers. Strike up a conversation with a man at a local coffee shop. These are just a few examples of alternative venues to meet men. And while I could generate a list of my own favorite places, it would be more beneficial for you to create your own personalized list.You can start by asking yourself, “What activities do I enjoy and where can I go to do them?” Also consider, “Where do I already go, and could I meet men there?”

Get Active

Partaking in activities that you enjoy is a great way to meet quality men, for two reasons: first, these are activites that you’re naturally drawn to. Chances are, you’re knowlegeable, well-versed, and even passionate about the them, and so you’re more likely to hold engaging conversations with men who share your enthusiasm. Common interests naturally give rise to conversation, and conversation creates chemistry and attraction. Second, partaking in activities that you’re passionate about can make you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, and there’s nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who can radiate her natural beauty from the inside out.

When generating a list of places to meet your kind of men, it’s important to choose those that are conducive for social interaction. Going to the movie theater, for instance, while certainly enjoyable, isn’t going to allow you to interact with other people. Choose activities that are structured in a way that encourages social interaction, such as ballroom dancing or team sports.

Online Dating

It’s also worth noting that many women are turning to the Internet—online dating—as an unconventional way to meet quality men, and for good reason. Websites such as Match.com and eharmony.com allow you to creatively represent yourself online so that you can quickly meet the right type of men. Women and men alike are also using meetup.com, a website that allows you to organize and partake in interest-specific social events in your area.

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Do an internet search for “How to Banter with Women,” and you’ll find a whole slew of information to read. But be careful. Though the so-called “Seduction Community” can provide plenty of valuable information on how to seduce a women, much of it is less about the connection you’re making, and more about the manipulation you’re employing. Bantering with women, at its core, is a positive way of building connection with a woman on a fun, flirtatious level.

What is Bantering?

Chances are, you’ve witnessed bantering between men and women, but haven’t experienced it firsthand. Here’s how it usually goes: a man and woman are interacting when suddenly, the man says something that at first seems inappropriate, maybe even crude. Paradoxically, the woman reacts positively, and becomes even more engaged in the interaction. There’s an energy between them. This playful, back-and-forth talk is known as banter, and it can serve as an effective way of igniting a conversation, and developing attraction between two people.

Some experts in the Seduction Community will treat banter as a means of effectively getting a woman into bed. While banter may lead to physical intimacy, this should never be an expectation. This is because bantering with women is first and foremost a spontaneous act. When attempting banter, you must be open to all outcomes and adapt as the conversation progresses. Part of the reason men struggle with banter is that it requires them to embrace their playful, child-like qualities—characteristics that, for some, have been suppressed by years of conditioning. Bantering with women requires full awareness and moment-to-moment improvisation, and one of the best ways to re-embody a spirit of play for yourself is by actually taking improvisation classes.

Bantering for Beginners

There are a couple components to bantering with women that beginners can keep in mind. To start, you can learn “Banter lines,” one-line sentences that can help spark up conversation, or get an interesting reaction from the women you’re interacting with. You can find lists of banter lines on the Internet, and when you’re starting out, it helps to memorize lines and keep them handy when you’re interacting with women. An example of a banter line is saying, “You need to stop flirting with me,” when the woman you’re with is clearly not flirting with you.

“Busting on Women” is another important component to banter. When you’re busting on a women, you’re essentially giving her an insult, such as “Your behavior is completely unnacceptable,” but in a playful, non-serious way, and often delivered with a sly grin. This can effectively get a rise out of the woman you’re interacting with, and help to build a tension and create attraction.

A good way to get better at bantering, too, is by watching men who are natural at it. You can do this in person, or you can observe characters in movies. There are many romantic comedies that display excellent examples of bantering with women. Check out classics like, “When Harry Met Sally,” or newer movies like, “Up In The Air,” with George Clooney.

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Body language is a form of non-verbal communication. Together with facial expression and tone of voice, body language conveys more meaning than words alone. Effective communication happens when there is agreement between the verbal and the non-verbal so it is important both to understand how to use body language and how to interpret it in others.

Types of Body Language Patterns

Closing

Examples of closing body language include crossing the arms or legs, hunching, tucking in the chin and lowering the head. These movements can indicate disagreement or the need for defense. Anything that makes the body appear smaller and protects the core is a defensive posture and indicates the speaker may feel threatened.

If you find yourself adopting closing postures, it may be a sign you dislike or distrust what your conversation partner is saying.

Opening

Opening body language includes unfolding arms or legs, standing up straight, lifting the chin and raising the head. This usually indicates agreement, acceptance, and readiness to listen. Open body language can also be aggressive, communicating that the other person isn’t a threat.

If your communication partner is using open body patterns, it may be a sign that agreement is near, or that negotiation is possible.

Moving Closer

Moving closer can include stepping or leaning toward a conversation partner, reaching out, pushing out the chest, or pushing the head forward. This can either be a sign of aggression or anger, or signal looking for closeness, as in a romantic context.

Moving Away

Moving away can include stepping or leaning away from a conversation partner, pulling the arms close to ones body, retracting the chest, or pulling the head in. This can be a sign either of refusal, defense, or surprise. If combined with turning the back, it can also be a kind of aggressive signal that the speaker doesn’t fear the conversation partner.

Touching

When a speaker touches him or herself, either on the face or body, it is often a way of seeking reassurance and can be a sign of confusion, uncertainty, stress, or discomfort.

Touching the conversation partner can be either an aggressive act or an act of friendship or bonding, depending on context.

Cultural Differences

Body language and social distance can vary widely between different cultures, so be careful of interpreting the non-verbals of someone from a very different cultural background than your own.

Using and Interpreting Body Language

It’s almost impossible to manipulate your body language to effectively lie, so the best way to understand and use body language is to enhance your understanding of others, and to pay attention to your own body’s signals. That way you can line up your verbal and non-verbal signals to enhance communication.

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Whether in person or over the telephone, the quality of your voice is vital to effective communication. Voice includes not only volume and accent, but pitch, pronunciation, and speed. All of these qualities can interfere with your best presentation.

Voice Qualities:

Accent

Accent depends on where someone was raised and learned language. It is not one quality of voice, but combines many, such as pitch, pronunciation, and speed. There are many reasons why someone might want to reduce a ‘native’ accent, including difficulty being understood, or the listener paying more attention to the music of the voice than the content. Training courses are available to help someone modify an accent. These are often taught by speech language pathologists. http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/accent_mod.htm

Volume

The loudest voice is not always the most persuasive. If you raise your voice, you may be interpreted as being angry and your message can be lost. The best volume to speak with is one that will just fill the room and capture the attention of your audience. Your voice will carry best if you speak to the back of whatever room you are in. Changing the loudness of your voice is effective at maintaining listener attention. Both a slightly louder and a slightly softer voice can emphasize a point. Your listeners will be especially alert to the volume change.

Pitch

Women tend toward higher pitched voices; men to lower pitched ones. Lower pitches tend to be more soothing. In addition, since hearing loss often begins with a loss of ability to hear higher pitched sounds, communication can be improved by lowering your pitch. As with volume, varying the pitch is important to maintain listener interest.

Pronunciation

Having crisp pronunciation will aid comprehension. Actors often use tongue twisters to train themselves in good diction, making sure all the consonant sounds are sharp and distinct. A collection can be found here: http://www.theactorsstore.com/voice.htm

Speed

If you speak too slowly, your audience will lose interest. Too quickly and you risk losing your audience’s comprehension. Many people speak fast due to nervousness or discomfort with silence. Used properly, a pause can direct special attention to the word or phrase that follows.

Techniques and Tips for a Better Speaking Voice

Breath

Lungs provide the resonance for speaking. If you breathe too shallowly, or from your upper chest, you lose the breath support that will help your voice carry effortlessly. Actors and musicians practice diaphragmatic breathing. Breathing this way will help all aspects of your speaking voice.

Posture

Your sitting or standing posture has a great influence on speaking voice. Improper neck position can strain the vocal cords and spine position can influence breathing. Have someone take video or a photo of you while you speak. Study your alignment in profile view. Ideally, you should be able to drop a straight line from your earlobes to your shoulders, hips, just behind the knees, and the ankles.

Practice

Tape yourself as you speak and listen for the voice qualities mentioned here. Vary the different qualities until you are confident that your message and your speaking voice are as polished as they can be.

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